My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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