So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
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she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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