I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize