I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
