He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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