There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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