Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
