Screwed.edu
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can I color on your dick again?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
