I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We have started to decorate penises.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
