I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
