Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
