John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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