why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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