the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
