Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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