The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
