Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
