I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
