Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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