You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
