Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
