took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
