i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
