Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
