Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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