This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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