Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
