so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
