Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize