My room smells like vodka and shame
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
