my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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