how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
