After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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