hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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