haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize