I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Did I show you my penis last night?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
