:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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