do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
