My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize