Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You may now shotgun with the bride
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
