Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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