Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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