You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
