Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
