He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
