Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
