I hate your face
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize