I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
