it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
