Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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