Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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