I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
