Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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