Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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