i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
