I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
