dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
