you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
