On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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