perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize