real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
