erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
