things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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