Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the day after is always just damage control
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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