I only kidnapped one of them. chill
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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