if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
worst night to have a conscience
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I will be naked everywhere
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
