How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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