and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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