Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
