Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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