i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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