Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
